His penis mightier than his sword, the seriously camp pseudo-homosexual Adrian Healey is not to be found on the school playing-fields. Healey, strangely attired, even for a 1970s English public schoolboy, in top hat, Astrakhan coat, lavender gloves and spats, appears in the changing rooms to tease the muddy, sweaty school XV. A wet flannel is flung at him: 'If there is the slightest possibility, Burkiss, that this flannel has absorbed any of the juices that leak from within you, that it has mopped a single droplet of your revolting pubescent greases, that it has tickled and frotted even one of the