According to Will Gompertz, the BBC’s arts editor and Professor Pat Pending from Wacky Races look-alike: ‘It’s a fact of life: rock stars trash hotels; sportsmen and women get injured; arts folk talk bollocks.’ He has a point: modern art has an unrivalled capacity to bring out the prolixity and bilge in those who write about it, and Gompertz is honest enough to admit to indulging in occasional bouts of testicle talk himself. Perhaps as a result he has written What Are You Looking At?, a primer to modern art, in a determinedly demotic style.

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