Jurek Martin

Leading Lady

Hard Choices


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A doctor writes: Clinton Derangement Syndrome, unique to the United States, has been traced to the state of Arkansas, but became a national epidemic in the early 1990s. Its principal characteristic is hyperventilation. Its symptoms include foaming at the mouth among right-handed sufferers, a constant since its discovery, and weakness at the knees among southpaws, although, in 2008, there was an unexpected decline in its incidence. Recent reports, however, suggest it has returned to its most virulent universal levels and therefore needs to be treated with much care. Abstinence from the political media is the only known antidote.

Not reading books by anybody who wants to be president might also help.

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