It was while we were all of us enjoying the melodious sound of Lord Goodman playing upon the lute towards the end of one of Bubbles Rothermere’s artistic soirees, that the conversation turned towards the painting of one’s portrait. All the leading patrons de l’arte moderne were there, including Maurice Saatchi, David Sainsbury, Grey Gary, Lord Stevas, and, of course, the irrepressible Bubbles herself, so one instinctively knew that one’s ‘grey cells’ would acquire some pretty valuable knowledge.

‘Henry Moore has done me,’ triumphed Bubbles, the metalwork on her bikini-top glistening in the soft light of the chandelier.

‘Excellent! Excellent!’ chimed in Norman St John Stevas, who had been allowed in for a few mins to help out with the washing-up. ‘And where can one see the finished product? Do tell!’

‘Outside the new Droitwich Telephone Exchange. It’s a sculpture called “Bubbles”. Very modern, of course’ explained our hostess,