The Road to Vermilion Lake careens from the tedious to the absurd en route to a finale where an orgasm causes a geological fissure, forcing the couple responsible to move to a Hawaiian island. It aims to be a postmodern fever dream exploring the human condition, but it turns into a masturbatory fantasy where nothing is said that could not be expressed with 50 per cent fewer adjectives.

At the centre of the book is Tom, a man who cannot see a woman without describing her breasts in detail. He is working as a blaster’s helper and first-aid attendant on a project finding a passage to the titular Vermilion Lake, an idyllic heart-shaped paradise. The boundaries of credibility